Those Last Little Moments
by P.R. Howlett
Summary: One shot LM. Those 90 seconds or so on Liberty Island when Rogue was dyingdead on the torch and a little more. Rogue's pov. Always did wonder what she was thinking. There may be more parts coming including Logan's pov on his stay in the med lab.


**Those Last Little Moments**

**Author's Note: **I know I said that I wouldn't write any more stories without lots of review type encouragement but, well, life is life. Bored and had pen and paper. Blame Rogue not me. Well you could blame the voices in my head and sue them but they're as broke as I am. It sucks to be in college.

**Summary: **Those 90 seconds or so on Liberty Island when Rogue was dying/dead on the torch and a little more. I always wondered what she was thinking right before Logan saved her. Just ramblings. No real point. keikochan3 liked it though. I knew there was a reason she was my best friend. Good for the ego and all that.

* * *

Well, it's a warm feeling. Not like under the blankets warm but like… falling in love sort of. You know, an inside to outside feeling that sort of tingles across your skin. The kind of thing that you don't even really appreciate until you look back on it.

Dying doesn't really hurt, it feels warm. Well once you've gone from critically wounded to mortally wounded that is. Big difference between those two little words. A world of pain kind of difference.

Right now I'm at the soft, warm stage of it. This dying thing might not be so bad if it weren't for the being dead at the end part. But that's sort of unavoidable. I've resigned myself to it and I'm even kind of looking forward to not having to deal with being a teenage mutant anymore.

Until then however, I plan on enjoying this feeling. I like the peace that goes along with it too. Peace and quiet and alone time to consider things. To think about all of those things that you don't really think about when things are normal and you think you have a world of time to figure them out.

Things like why is the sun is yellow of all colors, and why is the grass green? Things like why do you have to memorize the presidents in school but they don't teach you anything useful like how to talk to guys? Things like why did you decided to fall in love with a guy who has nine inch metal claws that shoot out of his hands, a bad temper, and who thinks of you as a kid?

Well, the first few are no brainers. The color things are just because God decided that that was the way things needed to be and nobody should think about it to hard because if they did they might start in on all sorts of even stupider questions. Like how do you get the cream filling into a ding dong. That I could live my entire life without knowing and be very happy.

The school thing is most definitely either because the teachers have forgotten what it was like to be young and so they don't remember how important to the teenage mind it is or because they just never figured it out themselves. I happen to believe the second reason whenever I see Dr. Grey and Mr. Summers talking. Talk about some awkward conversations. Though that may just be because of Logan and his flirting with the good doctor.

Which brings me to the final and toughest question. Why did I fall in love with Logan? What about him made me decide that he was boyfriend material and eventual husband material? Why would I inflict that kind of emotional pain on myself?

It might have been because he saved me from freezing on the side of the road. That would make the most sense of anything. But that wasn't really a big deal in either of our minds. Yeah he made it so I wouldn't die there in nowhere Canada but that wasn't really a big deal. There always could have been another car.

Besides, he was the jerk who had tossed me out of the trailer in the first place.

Some people might have said it was the whole thing where he told me his real name. Well, that did make my heart flutter. I could tell that he didn't tell a lot of people his real name and it made me feel special. But he was still a rude jerk at that point. Sorry people that's just the way it was.

The David in my head thinks that it's what happened on the train. The way he hugged me and tried to comfort me. The way he told me to follow my instincts. I don't think he knew though that my instincts were telling me to kiss him.

That wasn't when I fell though, but only because it was too late.

To tell the truth, it was when he stabbed me. Well not the actual action of nine inch metal claws ripping throughmy flesh. It was when he got into my head.

When I absorbed him I already knew I was attracted to him and that I was fond of him for the beef jerky and his name. The second I absorbed him I fell in love.

I could feel every bad thing he had ever done as if I had done them. Every moment of hate and every scent of blood from a kill was mine. I could smell, taste and feel every woman he could remember being with. It was like getting the sexual experience of years of whoring in one second, which I guess it really was. I felt every time his body had forcibly healed him from alcohol poisoning and I could even taste the residue of a hundred thousand cigars.

Unlike what people believed I didn't hide that all in some compartment of my mind. I felt it all. I lived it all in seconds.

Now what would make a good girl like me fall for a bad, dark man like that? Someone with such evil deeds in their past.

It was what was left that I fell for.

In a small, hidden little corner of every thing I got there was a shred of light. Just one small shred. But that one shred lit it all up and let me see it like he did.

Logan has a strong sense of honor. He has strong values and even stronger beliefs. Logan is a good man.

And they made him into an animal.

He feels guilty for what they did to him. He's punishing himself. Everything he does that breaks his code of ethics is a punishment for himself. Every beer is trying to drown what they did. The women are chances to forget. The only reason he doesn't actually kill himself is because he can't. He's already tried.

He's trying to destroy the monster that they made.

I always did have a thing for tortured heroes. The potential for good always far out weighed the evils they had committed in my mind.

I love what Logan thinks he can't be but already is. I love what Logan has forgotten but will never lose. I love Logan, even though all anyone else sees is the Wolverine, even Logan.

Damn it, I can't die. Who's going to teach him how to be Logan again? Who else sees the real him? I can't let him go back to what he was before so easily. I can't let that happen. DAMN IT!

OWW! That hurts. What? That hurts? Oh my……I can feel pain again. I never thought that I would like that.

What's happening? What……Oh.

More memories…

"Damn it, kid. You're not dying on me."

Huh?

"I just flew through the air, got bent out of shape by Magneto, literally, and I'm touching your skin willingly. You can't die after I made all that effort."

Logan?

"Who else."

My eyes fly open as I realize that I'm alive and well. You have to love theskipping the months of healing part. I'm relieved to be alive. To know that I have a chance to let Logan know that he's worth saving, that he's worth loving.

But then I see his body.

No. He can't die either.

I look up to see the jet coming to pick us up and I say a quick prayer of thanks. We're gonna be okay. We're gonna get out of here okay.

I suddenly have a whole new fondness for that stiff Mr. Summers.

* * *

Well Logan's been out for a week. He's gonna be okay though. Dr. Grey has been taking care of him. I'm a little jealous that she's the one who always gets to see him with no shirt without getting stabbed. But then I remember that she didn't have him bring her back from the brink of death at the risk of his own life.

It took me a while to figure out that when I heard Logan talking it wasn't him it was what he gave me of himself. Logan had already passed out before I had finished healing. That makes me happy but only because now I know that he feels something for me too.

The people in my head can't lie to me and the Logan that I got that day has told me that I mean a lot to him for him to have risked so much.

You see Logan stopped wanting to die after the first time I absorbed him. Getting that close to death made him realize that dying isn't really what he wants. So the fact that he risked his life to save me is pretty significant.

Besides the fact that the Logan in my head has let it slip that Logan plans on giving me a few years to grow up but he wants me. I figure a few years is long enough to convince him it's love. Especially since I have the unfair advantage of having Logan in my head and he doesn't play fair.

Anyway, I've got part one of the plan to start on. Make Logan jealous. Simple enough with all the guys around here.

See you in a few years!


End file.
